| Same ol' drill as usual, boys! |
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| Wed, 1 Jul 2009, 11:13 pm | ||||
As a teenager, I was a severe hypochondriac. It was a combination of wanting attention and being completely bored in school. As an adult, I have worked very hard to break this. Unfortunately, it means that I have a tendency to poo-poo the theory that I am actually sick when I am. Normally, this is unimportant because I rarely catch anything worse than an annoying cold. In the past year, however, I have had several pretty serious illnesses that I have ignored for long enough to make them worse. First was the tumor in my arm. I got that removed, but I am pretty sure that many of my darling readers remember the emotional turmoil that turned into - not the actual surgery, everything that happened after it. And recently, a week after I started my brilliant new job, I finally had to go to the doctor with what turned out to be tonsillitis. Ewww. It was my very first case of this marvelous disease. It moved into my head and means that I no longer can hear clearly - it's been officially four weeks since my ears have popped. Now it seems to be in my chest. I am coughing continuously, except when I suck on sugar-free Jolly Ranchers. (The sugar-free isn't mandatory, it's entirely by choice.) Allergy medicine alone doesn't help, so I can't use my normal tact of blaming allergies. Cold medicine alone doesn't help either, so it's unlikely that it is just a cold that will resolve itself. I don't wheeze too much when I breathe, so it doesn't appear to be pneumonia of any variety, although my chest has felt tight for about the past week. I seem to be talking myself into going to the doc here, but I would like to hear what you, my loyal readers, think. Is this a legitimate problem or am I falling into old habits again? In other news, I still love my job!!! |
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indescribable| The Plot Thickens |
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| Sun, 28 Jun 2009, 10:29 am | ||||
I now have employment, first and foremost! It is a fabulous job that really plays to my strengths - writing and geeking out. I think that I have found my place for the next few years. :D School was rough last term, but everything is going smoothly now and I don't foresee anymore troubles. And dance! We had a fabulous show and are now looking towards the future - there are so very many directions to go and we can take them all on! I know this is short for everything I mentioned, but there is more running to do! Hugs and kisses, all. |
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bouncy| Nobody puts Baby in the corner! |
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| Fri, 3 Apr 2009, 04:41 pm | ||||
My car was pretty much raped by the hail storm that ravaged Austin last week. (As was my bedroom window, but that was fixed two days later.) Thanks to my darling, wonderful friend Jenny, Matisse is in the shop getting fixed. Of course, I'm fighting to get a rental car, but hopefully that won't matter for much longer. School has started again and I am really enjoying my classes this term - as I have enjoyed most of my classes all along. My favorite class is Developmental Psychology, or as I have begun to call it How To Screw With Your Friends' Kids. Lots of interesting things to learn, and all kinds of new applications. My other class is on Comparative Justice Systems, which is turning out to be way more interesting than I expected. And that's about it for me right now. |
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calm| Updates and the like |
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| Fri, 13 Mar 2009, 08:14 pm | ||||
School continues unabated. This term was very odd. I had more time to work on everything, without work to worry about, but it felt like I had no time at all. Still, I got through with A's in both classes and learned a great deal. Next term starts in a week and a half. I'm looking forward to it for the most part, although part of me is just drained. Dance is spectacular and fantabulous! I owe everyone there - and especially Ragen - many, many thanks for my continued mental health during this prolonged period of unemployment. Those who have known me for long know that I do not deal with these times with particular grace. Having something that keeps me busy helps a great deal. Add to that thanks to my wonderful friends, far and wide. Between flying me up to Utah so that I could see everyone there, chatting online, and hanging out with everyone here in Austin, you have kept me from falling into the deep depression that I feel gnawing on the edges. You are truly the best friends a girl could have and I, lucky girl, love each and every one of you. Today has been a gloomy day, both literally and figuratively. I woke up knowing that parts of my life would never be what I want them to be. As I drove to my acupuncture appointment - again, thank you to Ragen! - it started to pour down rain and I ended up being soaked going from the parking garage to the building. The elevator was down for repairs so my ankle - twisted in the pursuit of employment last week - and I walked up the stairs. I filled out the paperwork, learned a lot about acupuncture from my brilliant practitioner, then got to spend a very comfortable and comforting 20 minutes in meditation - all of it a true bright spot in my day. I am taking my herbs and rubbing on the lotion like a good girl. I should have less pain tomorrow - which is good since the dance troupe has our debut then. I drove home and was relatively balanced until I got home. Then I realized that what I wanted more than anything was a hug. But my favorite hugger was too busy, as was to be expected I suppose. And the sinking feeling was back. That isn't to say that everything is a downer right now. I have a great interview lined up for Monday that could lead to a wonderful position. I just have to hope that I'm what they are looking for. If not... Well, there are other possibilities out there now. Just none as good as this one. All good wishes, prayers, and helpful spells welcome on this on, gentle readers, so keep me in your thoughts. That's about it for now. I'm just curled up on my couch with a sleepy kitty, taking it easy. |
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gloomy| Of bleh and other topics |
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| Tue, 27 Jan 2009, 02:06 pm | ||||
Next week there will be more chilliness, but also a lot of fun! I'll be in Salt Lake City, thanks to some of the best friends in the world. They are flying me up to spend nine days visiting them and relaxing. I can't wait to see everyone! On another positive front, I had three promising phone interviews last week. And this is just the beginning! Hopefully I'll have a job waiting for me after I get back from SLC. That would truly be the best case scenario. But even if that doesn't happen, I'm sure I'll have something soon. :) And (!) if I have a job in the near future, Jenny is going to help me redecorate and organize my living room and kitchen. That is going to be so wonderful! So it is a wonderful world still and soon it will be better. :) |
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| What a Month |
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| Tue, 20 Jan 2009, 02:01 pm | ||||
I had my first phone interview today and it seems to have gone well. I'll hear about a possible follow up phone interview by the end of the week. My fingers are crossed so tightly that they are starting to cramp! If all goes well, I'll have a job lined up by the end of the month. I can't start immediately, though, because my darling friends in SLC have gotten together and bought me a ticket to fly up there the first week of February. I am so looking forward to seeing all of you! My life is still looking up, regardless of the lay off. I am happy and everything is good. :D |
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| Resolved: 2009 will be a far better year for Gwen than 2008 |
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| Thu, 1 Jan 2009, 10:35 pm | ||||
This year I'm taking a different approach. I'm going to make just two simple resolutions, each of which will make a dramatic difference in my life from just a simple change of behavior. Resolved: I will begin employing a more positive outlook on the world. I have so many good things happening in my life right now - my friends, my family, Eliot, my job, and school - that this shouldn't be a problem. I will refuse to live in fear. I've done so for too long - worrying about the reactions of others to my words and my decisions, second-guessing myself on choices made regarding my job and schooling, anxious about everyone and everyone around me. Instead, I will trust that I am strong enough to make it through anything that life can throw at me. A happy new year to each and every one of you. |
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| Quote of the Day |
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| Sun, 28 Dec 2008, 04:10 pm | ||||
I am looking forward to 2009. I think it's time for karma to repay me for my crap year in 2008. And now for the promised quote: "Any woman who thinks the way to a man's hear is through his stomach is aiming about 10 inches too high." - Adrienne E. Gusoff |
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| Life, the universe, and Gwen |
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| Sat, 6 Dec 2008, 03:44 pm | ||||
I also feel more attractive right now. Again, I can't fully explain why. But I bought myself a red satin pencil skirt yesterday that I wouldn't have even looked at two months ago. Maye I'm just at the place I need to be and with the people I should be with right now. Either way, I'll take it! I bought the Orange Monster a new kitty tower as an early Christmas present today. I have never seen him adjust as quickly and happily to change before! It was barely in the door before he was climbing over and on and in it. Right now he's running from the old one to the new one and back again as if to say, "This is better, Mama! And so is this! Oh, and did you see this?!" My arm is back to normal - except for the scar of course. I've decided to tell people I got it wrestling sharks in a biker bar brawl. We'll see how many believe it. ;) School is going well this term - a nice change from last term. Everything seems to be falling into place and making perfect sense. I have a year or so until graduation, which still surprises me. I've decided to pay my membership fees for both the Golden Key and Alpha Beta Kappa honor societies as my Christmas present to myself. It seems like the way to go. That's about all I can think of to say right now. I'm going to go back to laughing at my cat now. Enjoy your days, faithful readers! |
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| Mr Safety's Mean Kitty in High Def!!! |
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| Thu, 23 Oct 2008, 12:17 am | ||||
The Mean Kitty Song (downloadable) from Cory "Mr. Safety" Williams on Vimeo. </lj-embed> |
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| Kitty voting commences! |
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| Mon, 20 Oct 2008, 06:37 pm | ||||
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crazy| o/~ What-ev-er o/~ |
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| Mon, 6 Oct 2008, 05:33 pm | ||||
My vacation was fantabulous, though! My last day of work was 9/22 - the very day that my friend Will and our lovely chaufer entered Austin. They came up to visit me at work and made the evening much more enjoyable in general - especially given that this was less than a week after the "tuh-mah" was removed. I showed them what I do on a daily basis, as well as where I do it, and then they departed to get some sleep. The next day we drove to San Antonio to meet up with another friend - Sue, who had previously lived in SA and so was willing to be a gracious hostess and tell us where the good food and drink was to be found. We spent a half-hour or so wandering the Japanese tea gardens that are next to the zoo - being soothed by the giant coy, lounging turtles, and vegetation of a multitude of colors. Afterwards, we decided that it was time for food - a very good thing indeed - and went to a restaurant called Margarita that served, well, really good margaritas. We trolled the market afterwards - I bought myself a 4' bull whip for work - and then headed back to Austin by way of the outlet stores in San Marcos. *innocent whistle* To be honest, the next two days run together in my head. There was a lot of checking out the kewl places in South Austin that I rarely get to visit. And Wednesday I took Will on a stroll of 6th Street and it's lovely live music. While we caught a few iffy acts, the first one we stumbled upon - The Clay Jeffrey Band - is certainly worth a listen to. ***NOTE*** I am about to throw a multitude of band names at you, gentle readers. Some will be familiar, others less so. I will not include links to all of them, but will say that there isn't a one of them that I would not recommend investigating on your own. Friday, however, was the beginning of ACL. :D I can't rave enough about it! It was the best three days I ever spent in the sun listening to music and being surrounded by 60000 people. Friday started out fairly mellow. We got downtown, parked about a half mile from where we were headed, had brunch at Katz' - mmm... kosher... - then went to get in lines for our bands and the shuttles. There was a bit of a wait, naturally, but it was an enjoyable time in general, spent chatting and planning out our festival strategy. We got there, slathered ourselves in sunscreen, then picked up a blanket and went to listen to Jakob Dylan. He is sounding more like his father every year, but I was still able to pick out some words. From there we dashed across Zilker Park - where ACL is held every year - and caught the last 3/4 of Del tha Funky Homospien. I first heard Del when he was working with the Gorillaz and enjoyed his own stuff very much as well. We caught a few minutes of Delta Spirit, who were good if not really my thing, then treked back to the other side to listen to Slightly Stoopid. They were a discovery of Bradley Nowell shortly before his untimely death, so they have a ska/surfer/caribbean sound that I really enjoyed - even if our seats were not really geared for good sound. There was a quick grabbing of food, then we took our places for G. Love and Special Sauce, one of the most entertaining performers and someone who was clearly happy to be in Austin. Not being big Manu Chao fans, we left for the evening after G finished. And never having attended the Fest before we naturally walked the wrong way leaving the gates. We discovered this error after walking about a mile, and were fortunate to find a pedicab willing to pedal us back to the gate - our original starting point. After a short two mile death walk, we reached the shuttle and were taken back to where we had been picked up earlier - half a mile or so from the car. More walking, and then we were done for the day. I can't speak for Will, but I slept well that night! Saturday we started out earlier and were able to get a ready good parking place two blocks from the pick-up/drop-off point. It was also farmer's market day, so we were able to pick up a reasonably priced and tasty breakfast before heading off. We were so early that we ended up getting to Zilker Park before they opened the gates, so there was some line waiting to be done. Once we got in, we caught an Austin native - Bonnie Bishop - who eased our way into the day with some soothing music to make us smile. We then listened to the Old 97's - not entirely my thing, but an interesting sound nonetheless. We left early and went to listen to the Fratellis who fell more into my standard list of things to listen to being somewhat less country and more, well, White Stripe-y. (The irony of that comment will appear later in this entry.) We grabbed food and drink, then headed for the one fully covered enclosure - that sun was HOT! - to catch Eli "Paperboy" Reed and the True Loves. Their sound was a cross between ska and the Cherry Poppin' Daddies, so I enjoyed them thoroughly. Somewhat sad to leave behind the comfort of the chairs (!) and tent (!!), but with the promise of shade providing trees, we moved out to see Erykah Badu. I have long admired this woman's music and social stance so there was almost no way I was going to miss her. Lying on the, well, dirt under the trees and listening to her was a beautiful way to spend an hour. After she finished, we moved into stronger shade - the sun had moved after all - and listened to Conor Oberst and the Mystic Valley Band. For someone I had never heard of before, these guys were fabulous! The lead singer tended to sing with a British accent, though, which made it somewhat jarring when he talked and sounded like a Californian. We listened - kind of - to Iron & Wine, but mostly munched nachos and drank precious liquids until the main show of the night began. Beck. That's right. The loser himself. That, ladies and gentlemen, was a stunningly magnificent show and well worth the late hour to which we had to stay to catch it all. Oh, and the longer than the night before line to get to the shuttles. At least it was a short walk back to the car... Sunday began at about the same time as Saturday, but as there was no farmer's market we were able to park half a block closer. *choirs of angels sing* We decided that, while the parking was definitely a good thing, we weren't really up to standing in line and waiting to get in the gates. So instead we went and got breakfast at Fado, an Irish pub. In case anyone ever wondered, Guinness goes very well indeed with traditional corned beef hash. We got to the festival and wandered through the merchant's area - because we could - and saw *gasp* chairs!!!! They had probably been there all along, but we hadn't seen them. I have to say, they made everything more comfortable and helped add to this being the most comfortable of the three days. We caught Abigail Washburn and the Sparrow Quartet who played some of the most lovely folk music I've heard in a long time. A lot of their music was influenced by the time they all spent in China, which added to the interest for me. I've always been a sucker for that kind of thing. Then we went to the opposite end of the park and the musical scene and caught The Kills. Now, I like their music. I really do. The band left a major something to be desired, though. They spent the time between songs bitching about the sun and the heat and their hangovers. My response was, "WELCOME TO TEXAS!!!" We did another slow wander and got excellent seats for Against Me!, which wasn't really the point, but they were enjoyable. We listened - at a distance - to the Silversun Pickups and I can't tell you much about them except that they were country oriented. The point of our prior excellent seats for Against Me! is that they turned into excellent seats for Blues Traveller, which was far more important. They were in fine voice and I enjoyed them - and not just singing along to the songs I knew already! - very much. We then hoofed it across to listen to The Raconteurs - Jack White's latest project. (Hence my White Stripes comment earlier.) They had more energy than I expected and were a lot of fun to watch. We hung out after that, half listeing to Tegan and Sara, until it was closer to time for, get this, the Foo Fighters. Now, I've liked Foo for a long time. However, Dave seems to be taking himself a bit too seriously for my liking. It was still a good show, but not good enough to stick around for the whole thing. We left about thirty minutes early, had a comfortable shuttle ride back, and drove to a late dinner at Taco Cabana. Mmmm... Inexpensive Mexican food... Monday was mostly a day of recovery, during which we went to a buffet place for lunch, hit Fry's Electronics afterwards, and then watched several discs of Supernatural - which Will hadn't seen yet. I have made an addict of him. Bwahahaha*cough*ha. Tuesday we met up with another friend - and former co-worker - of mine who was in town from the UAE. (Just a bit of a trip there.) We went shopping - whee! - then caught pub trivia at Mother Egan's Irish Pub downtown. (I've linked it in previous entries. ;) ) Lots of fun was had, many beers were consumed, and some answers were correct. Wednesday saw a visit to the office so Chris could see the old stomping grounds. Then we went on a BBQ hunt - after showing Chris Dr Horrible's Sing-Along blog, of course. Thursday involved the purchasing of Texas-y gifts for Will's co-workers and alcohol for the VP debates. More Supernatural was watched, the debates were turned - as is only proper - into a drinking game, and then more Supernatural to give Will a chance to see all of the first season and sober up some. Friday, Will and I had breakfast before he got on the road. And then I lazed the rest of the day and most of Saturday. This glossed over some major points that I will now go back and hit that weren't specifically vacation related. First, a good friend of mine was fired last Monday. Brian, I am so sorry and miss you around this place already. We'll do dinner soon. *hug* I found out that the "tuh-mah" was not cancerous, fortunately, but that it isn't healing properly. I've been handed some home physio to do and will check back in two months. This term is now over and I'm just waiting for my grades. There's a week and a half before the next term starts, so I'm kicking back a little right now. Which is definitely needed. And I have officially been at my job for five years now. Goodness. I'm not sure what to say about that... So. That's how the past two weeks have treated me. How have they taken care of you all? |
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| Fixed and Broken |
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| Sat, 20 Sep 2008, 08:01 pm | ||||
A friend of mine is working through a lot of problems right now and appears to have decided that not talking to me is at least a temporary solution. That one is less obvious and going to take longer to heal. Fortunately, my vacation starts on Tuesday. I'm looking forward to fun, relaxation, live music, and friends - both old and new. And, my friend, I hope that it all works out the way it is supposed to. I've been praying for you and will be here when you decide to talk. RUCOS: Best cyber sex evah!!!! |
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| I can has hermitage? |
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| Sun, 14 Sep 2008, 03:26 pm | ||||
That is all... |
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distressed| Bleh. |
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| Thu, 11 Sep 2008, 10:24 pm | ||||
"It's a tuh-mah." That's right, ladies, gents, and all others reading this blog. I have a large lipoma just above the elbow of my left arm. This isn't life threatening by any stretch of the imagination - lipomas tend not to be malignant - but it is pressing on my ulnar nerve and giving me no end of pain and annoyance. And so it must be removed. Sadly however, even though this is an outpatient procedure (scheduled for next Tuesday), I am doubting that I will be able to write an epic entry about this semi-monumental happening. This is for two reasons, really. First of all, my left arm is going to hurt so I'm not going to be huge on typing for a while. Secondly, let's be honest here, people, I'm going to be asleep through the majority of the "fun" stuff. I'll share what I can, but I'm not promising a novel-like treatment like my last surgery received. In even more amusing news, Hurricane Ike might actually make it inland far enough to hit Austin, TX, while still a genuine hurricane - category one. I'm not sure why, but the harried and hurried panic that began at work yesterday as this rumor was confirmed has made me giggle more than usual. Everything will be fine of course - we have planned for almost every contingency already, so there's just a little polishing to be done - but the talk of stocking water and non-perishible food puts me in mind of the Y2K scare. The humor factor is increased for me because I see this as equally unnecessary. Which is not to say that I won't take all necessary precautions to keep the Orange Monster and I dry. Just that I'm not going to buy a rubber raft. |
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| "I don't care what it is, when it has an LCD screen, it makes it better." - Kevin Rose |
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| Wed, 27 Aug 2008, 08:59 pm | ||||
First of all, I have come to my mid-terms for both Ethics classes. I have to say that if you are faced with multiple ethics courses in your academic future, do not take them at the same time. And certainly do not take Ethics of Criminal Justice from an administrator from one of the most corrupt - traditionally - police departments in the United States of America. Really, this guy isn't as bad as General Nick was, but we are certainly at odds on many ethical topics. The biggest one seems to be consensual crimes. I firmly believe that the position of the United States government that its citizens must be protected from themselves above all else is an insult and an unnecessary holdover from Puritanical times. He appears to have put no thought whatsoever into this argument and has only ever responded that a police officer is a police officer 24/7. ... Does that make sense to anyone else, because I am lost? My regular Ethics class is going well, although I think I was put through a test of some kind last week. She gave me 87 out of 50 points for class discussion. I pointed the mistake out to her last Friday and it is still that way in my gradebook. I can't complain, really. I'm just curious. Work has taken a turn for the stranger - but possibly better. My six day work weeks appear to be at an end, finally. Yay! Our new manager has been hired and started on Monday. It's odd having someone else in charge, but she seems nice enough and is at least asking the right questions. Definitely good potential there. And I now have three part time people helping me out with Minnesota - a large part of the reason I no longer work six days a week. My new girl started two weeks ago and is already farther along than the old one - who has started to fear for her job. The third - our one and only male member of MegaBingo - should be starting in the next week or two. I have just over three and a half weeks until my vacation! I am so seriously looking forward to this that I can't even begin to convey my excitement to you, my loyal readers. I'm not planning anything more strenuous than a few day trips and, of course, the Austin City Limits freakin' Music Festival! (Don't worry, I've already started stocking up on sun screen. Otherwise, being outside in the sun for three days straight would lead to at least two weeks of sunburn hell.) I think that's about it from me for the time being. The Orange Monster and I are well and that is what is important. |
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| I'm a little late getting this up... |
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| Wed, 16 Jul 2008, 07:48 pm | ||||
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| Quiet amusement has its place, but today I'm going for belly laughs |
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| Wed, 25 Jun 2008, 08:17 pm | ||||
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| Maybe I'm just having an off day... |
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| Fri, 13 Jun 2008, 09:01 pm | ||||
 Which File Extension are You? ***** On the lighter side of things: Upside - my eyes are awesome. Downside - my new "manager" is an idiot and my faithful stuffed dog is still unnamed. |
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aggravated| I Have Looked Into the Eye of Sauron: How I Survived Lasik |
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| Wed, 4 Jun 2008, 01:22 pm | ||||
Naturally, there were a lot of nerves involved the last few days before the surgery and sleep was about the last thing on my mind the night before. I woke up at the ungodly and impossible hour of 8am last Saturday - a time that should not be forced upon man or beast. Sleep was beyond me, however, so I got up and put my glasses on for the last time. The surgery wasn't scheduled till 12:45pm, but I was under the false impression that if I got in early I might get done early, so I asked my dear friend Maky to get to my apartment at noon. ***DIGRESSION ALERT*** What is it about men? Why are they incapable of being anywhere on time? Seriously? Fortunately, I usually remember to tell them to be wherever they need to be 15 minutes earlier than they need to be there. Otherwise... Always late. ***END DIGRESSION*** So, we reached the office at about 12:30pm - not as early as I had planned, but respectable at least. Maky and I sat - me clutching the stuffed dog I bought the day before and have not yet named - waiting. He tried to distract me, amusingly with news from work. Because that's just what every girl wants to hear about as she waits to get her eyes sliced open and burned by lasers: the broken A/C unit that threatens to take down the ability of people to gamble in two countries. So, you remember my false impression from earlier? This is one case where there is NO POSSIBILITY of getting through early, or so it seems. In fact, we ended up sitting in the waiting room for two and a half hours. Well, I did. Maky went out and made some phone calls, smoked a few cigarettes, visited with his car, etc. Not that I blame him, but I was rather jealous of that ability to just walk away. FINALLY, I was called back. The nurse I met with was fresh off of maternity leave and kept mentioning how things had changed in the past eight months. Now, there's a comforting concept. However, as her main job at this point was to explain the importance of drowning my eyes in foreign liquids over the next week, I figured that it wasn't that big a point. I pause now to make a note that will be important in the near future. The clinic I went to for my surgery provides everyone with a pair of goggles. These are to be worn anytime that you sleep for at least a week after the procedure and have the chic sex appeal of over-sized swim goggles the world over. That's right, baby, I was going to be HOT. Once I had received the eye drops lecture and the new birth control goggles, I was led into the room where I was to meet the doctor who would burn my eyes - a controlled burn, of course. After recommending that I name my stuffed dog - still clutched in my shaking hands - after himself, the doctor proceded to tell me exactly what I would be up against that day, as well as anyone who has not undergone it himself can. (Side note: the recently returned nurse actually had Lasik five years ago and raved about it. This was comforting.) He made a few marks on my eyes with a "special" pencil. He also poured in the first dose of numbing drops. These numbing drops were to become my best friend. Wearing my paper hat and upside down nametags on each shoulder, I was walked into the laser room sans my glasses. I was blind - which was normal - and scared - which was not. They laid me down on a semi-comfortable bed and covered me with a heavy blanket. This is important because it allowed me to hide the fact that I was trying to tear the poor abused stuffed dog - still nameless - open for roughly the next fifteen minutes. More numbing drops were applied - and I have to tell you that they taste awful - and my left eye was covered for the first flap cut. I should mention that my doctor had previously assured me that no Beethoven would be playing. He was right, of course, but I still had my A Clockwork Orange scream of "It's a sin! It's a sin!" ready, just in case. Instead, I was left listening to modern soft pop - the kind of thing I try my best to avoid humming along to in the best of circumstances. Here, it was ocassionally drowned out by jokes of using fewer numbing drops and PC explanations of what was going to happen next. You see, they tell you there will be some pressure on your eyes as the flap is cut. This is the equivalent of being told there will be a slight pinch when a tooth is pulled or a little prick when an inch long needle is being drilled into your arm. DO NOT BELIEVE THE HYPE!!!! They slipped in a circle of plastic that held my lids open - not a big deal if slightly unnerving. Then they poured in even more numbing drops and moved me under the flap laser. The next step was apparently to attempt pressing my eyeball THROUGH THE BACK OF MY SKULL! After 30 seconds of that - I know because the formerly pregnant nurse counted the time down - the pressure released, I was moved back, the lid holder was removed and I could close my eyes. ***DIGRESSION ALERT*** You never really understand how wonderful it is to close your eyes until you can't do it. ***END DIGRESSION*** After the process was repeated for my left eye, it was time to move on to the actual corneal burning. This time, the lid holder wasn't enough. My lashes were taped out of the way first, then the lid holder was put in place. More numbing drops were poured into my eye and ran straight into the back of my throat. I was told to stare at a red light which reminded me initially of Hal from 2001. The doctor's calm voice - I swear, the man must either be a wild man at parties or has never done anything more exciting than building a ship model - told me that it would look like they were trying to pull away the light but I had to keep focused on it. Then he started pulling my pupil around. Now, I'm not sure that this is exactly what was happening, but it is the best way to explain what I saw. It started with the horror movie classic: the silouette of a hook. Then it was turned towards my eye and my vision started jumping. Quite unnerving, but I did my best to follow directions, staring deeply into Hal's baleful glare. Once the hook was finished and I was returned to the care of the psychotic computer, a transformation began. That single red light suddenly disolved into Peter Jackson's vision of the Eye of Sauron, sans the slit pupil. Flames extended on all sides - with three bright lights around the bottom that turned up later - and I was told in that infuriatingly calm voice to stare into the light. I did so, having no real choice at this point. It was almost beautiful, in a disturbing way, and almost detracted from the slight smell of burning cornea. After it ended and was again repeated for the left eye, more numbing drops ended the procedure and I was told to sit up. You know the "improvement" shows like The Swan and 10 Years Younger? That scene where the person who just had Lasik sits up and is able to read the clock from across the room for the first time? You know how cliche their giant grin seems as they tell the doctor what time it is? Yeah, I was totally that cliche. It was like looking through murky water, but I could see without my glasses better than I had in, literally, decades. I kept looking around at everything, shocked by what I could see already. I'm pretty sure I talked Maky's ear off as he drove me home, but I can't remember. I got home and walked up the stairs to my third floor apartment without glasses. I unlocked and opened my door without glasses. I downed two acetaminophen, put on my aforementioned goggles, and fell asleep without glasses. Now is where the goggles become important, people. As attractive as they are, the nurse forgot to mention their most important feature. They form, you see, an airtight seal with your face. While for many people this may not be a big deal, I have the perhaps unusual habit of opening my eyes when I wake up. In this case, it meant that when I opened them I could see NOTHING!!! It was bright so I could tell that my eyes were open. But that was it! I was in a big white fog! ... Funny choice of word, fog. You see, when you live in Texas and wear goggles with an airtight seal in the summer, you end up with a great deal of condensation on the inside of said goggles. That's right, dear readers, I terrified myself because of the goggles. Let this stand as a lesson for you all. Once I took the goggles off, I was genuinely able to see. As well as I had with my glasses. It was incredible. I still can't get over how amazing the world looks now. Four days later, my vision is even clearer. I can see leaves on trees from across my apartment complex. I can read street signs with no difficulty whatsoever. And I am about to go watch a movie sans glasses for the first time in... Well, it feels like forever. I cannot recommend this procedure more. However, having said that, it is immensely important that you do your research and have your ducks in a row before undergoing any major procedure such as this. It is a lot of work, but in the long run it means that you will be happier with your decision and the results. And now I'm going to go enjoy my vision. |
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